I mentioned yesterday that being a wife and mom is really all I have ever wanted to do. I am living my dream, but most days I feel completely overwhelmed with everything that I am responsible for.
Somewhere along the way I have become a selfish wife and mommy. Instead of choosing to find joy in doing the things that I have been called to do and serving my family well; I have let other things creep in and steal my time and my joy.
I always pictured being a stay at home wife and mommy an easy job. I pictured lots of happiness all of the time. How hard could it really be to keep my husband and kids happy, while keeping them fed, in clean clothes, and the house presentable. Since all of that is super easy, just go ahead and add homeschooling to the mix. You know, because that will be easy. And fun. And of course there will be lots of time left over each day to do the things that I want to do.
I know that these are not hard things, but for someone that likes to stay up late (selfish), sleep in (selfish), not plan her day (selfish), do what she wants when she wants (selfish), eat whatever sounds good at the time (selfish), and just have fun of the time (selfish), it is hard.
I am learning that one of the reasons I have found it to be so hard is because I have been trying to do it in my own strength. I have been failing miserably. Here is the thing. I am not supposed to do this on my own. I should be starting my day with the Lord and letting Him lead and guide me through each and every day. He knows my weaknesses and strengths. He can show me how to get through the hard days with ease. He can show me ways to do things better so that they aren't so hard. He can mold me into the wife and mommy that my husband and boys need. I just have to let Him.